Blocking Intersections (3rd Monday)

Found time to retreat

“Ah-ha”’s for sweets

Gathering remedies

Messages

And past words still prevalent

Joy is heaven sent moments of gratitude

For it to take residence

Mustard seed faith.

If I had to choose a color to take with me into ancestorship, it would be mustard yellow. It is like the golden streak of joy that shows up when you have full circles moments that proved your faith to be nourished. Just because I believed, even just a little bit, that things would work out better than I could imagined, here things are doing just that.

I’ve walked upon a precious little paradise to retreat in. When I wrote, ‘Blues Is My Happy Place’, I wanted to be clear that while universal heaviness weigh us down, even at its core, there is purpose and resilience in the pain. This is the realization phase, though. A few months ago, during the test, I was overthinking about whether or not I would try to vacation and “get away” or find a new place to live (which was literally a no-brainer). More completely was I just not sure of how any of that would be financially possible. Well, I had to simply submit and rely on my faith being that the Most High Mother & Father Creator would provide all of my wants and needs. There were things that I saw for my life and I couldn’t stop dreaming and envisioning just because me and money had a funnystyle relationship. Surely, my desires are minimal from a fiscal standpoint yet the deeper need for retreat rested in having to struggle in my money mindset for so long. Becoming burned out from working to provide and working towards dreams too. Once you become exhausted enough, the dream work will find itself in another realm dreaming for someone else because the dream must be revealed.

So many of us would intensely prefer to just exist and be beautiful and make positively impactful contributions to the world around us that we create. Yet, we are in a system that intricately fosters macro and micro systems to control us while trying to get there. Life and livin’ ain’t free. As someone who prefers to live and work from home, the environment that I create and contribute to must bring a balance of relaxed and energetic. Stagnancy kills. We need retreat to deal with the stagnancy. We need faith in retreat. I need to have faith in myself and my creator more because the amazing things that we co-conspire in through words, actions, and miracles.

A part of me also feels that this is a bit of me coming out and pronouncing that I am a believer in Christ and the light of God’s son and I also believe that our ancestors are in a realm that listens and co-conspires with the living as well. Being a baptist bred New Orleanian unassociated with African traditions while growing up, it is still somewhat taboo to honor ancestors in a practical way if Jesus is your only source (along with your pastor, of course). I’ve found myself a scribe, and muse of the crossroads, blocking the intersection from people who don’t know much about their position in the diaspora and the deeply intricate connections between Christianity and African traditions. I’m ready to elevate and see my way to a different path that honors both my needs to be in worship with the Sun of God in the ways of my ancestry and ancestors. Maybe you’ll stay along the journey with me…